>>>Feelings<<<

I hated to look for a job. I really did. I would rather starve to death than that.
Now I found something I hate more. To look for a job for my dad.
All the things are not in his favor.
And when I see my mom hopeful face when receive one or two email which are not even about the jobs, it is the worst.
I know exactly how she felt.
Feeling hopefully this email is asking for interview. and want to be happy but not sure if it is for interview.
Then I tell her flatly "no, this is just some junk mail" in a tone of how come you are so back-dated with IT things.
I feel like I am the worst. People tend to angry when they surpressed their feelings for so long?
Maybe that's what I am. I don't cry. I don't get angry. I don't get friendly. I don't even have emotion at times.


Tomo, tasukete!

\\\Oyakodon to Kimi no suki na toko///

I had Oyakodon for today lunch. He love Oyakodon so much, so I had to try it.
I say not bad but I won't mention it in every interview if I were him. ^^
There is one song I want to sing to him if he can hear...

"Kimi no suki na toko"

思いが募るほどに 直接顔見ては言えない
omoi ga tsunoru hodo ni chokusetsu kao mite wa ienai
君の好きなところなんて 数えきれないほどあるのに
kimi no suki na tokoro nante kazoekirenai hodo aru noni

いざ目の前にすると 何も言えなくなってしまう
iza me no mae ni suru to nani mo ienaku natte shimau
会えない日に積み重ねた 願いも　迷いも　ため息も
aenai hi ni tsumikasaneta negai mo mayoi mo tameiki mo

ほら　今　この気持ち 君に言ってみたら
hora ima kono kimochi kimi ni itte mitara
困った顔するかな?　その逆ならいいな
komatta kao suru kana? sono gyaku nara ii na

照れた笑顔　すねた横顔　ぐしゃぐしゃ泣き顔
tereta egao suneta yokogao gushagusha nakigao
長いまつげ　耳のかたち　切りすぎた前髪
nagai matsuge mimi no katachi kirisugita maegami

君の好きなとこなら 星の数ほどあるのに
kimi no suki na toko nara hoshi no kazu hodo aru noni
一つも言葉に出来なくて
hitotsu mo kotoba ni dekinakute

恋をすればするほど 駆け引きはうまくはなるけど
koi wo sureba suru hodo kakehiki wa umaku wa naru kedo
この胸のムズがゆさに いつもギリギリ手が届かない
kono mune no muzugayusa ni itsumo girigiri te ga todokanai

困った顔　見たくて　いじわる言ってみる
komatta kao mitakute ijiwaru itte miru
ほんとは　全てが　可愛くてしょうがないくせに
honto wa subete ga kawaikute shou ga nai kuse ni

片方だけできるエクボ　朝のかすれた声
katahou dake dekiru EKUBO asa no kasureta koe
唇の色　髪の匂い　抱きしめた温度
kuchibiru no iro kami no nioi dakishimeta ondo

君の好きなとこなら 誰よりも知ってるのに
kimi no suki na toko nara dareyorimo shitteru noni
なぜ伝えられないのだろう?
naze tsutaerarenai no darou?

お腹が空くと　機嫌が悪くなって黙りこむ
onaga ga suku to kigen ga waruku natte damarikomu
酔うとすぐ寝るくせに　帰りたくないとすねる
you to sugu neru kuse ni kaeritakunai to suneru

君の嫌なところも　そりゃ少しはあるけれど
kimi no iya na tokoro mo sorya sukoshi wa aru keredo
会えばいつも許してしまう
aeba itsumo yurushite shimau

ホッとした顔　笑ったときに八の字になる眉
hottoshita kao waratta tokini hanoji ninaru mayu
皮肉やなのに　意外と人情ものに弱い
hiniku ya na noni igai to ninjou mono ni yowai

君の好きなとこなら
kimi no suki na toko nara
世界中の誰よりも 知ってる僕が嬉しくて
sekaijuu no dare yori mo shitteru bokuga ureshikute

ら今　君が笑うから
hora ima kimi ga warau kara
なぜだろう　言葉に出来なくて
naze darou kotoba ni dekinakute

This feeling in My <3

The friend I got a few weeks a go?
I think she hate me now. Maybe I really shouldn't said what I think about you, P.
When I thought I found who will share my feelings ne...
That's why I don't want any new friends... I hate to pretend. I hate to compromise. I hate to lose someone.
When there is nothing, I lose nothing...
I love your new single...
I am glad I ordered both editions ^^
Ganbatte... Sekai no NEWS made

nee, Tomo... daisuki...

#@$&#*@&%^$

Like someone says, I must get this out of me or I will explode.
His group new single is coming out and with DVD this time.
But other 2 units are start selling Album and Concert DVD the same day.
You know what, all are from same Angency. o_O

First other unit released two new single last month and this month.
Second other unit finished their tour almost same time as His group.
AND HIS GROUP RELEASED THEIR LAST ALBUM LAST YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't f*ck with me...
I am so pissed now...
If I know how to I want to swear very bad at JE.

What's more, DVD coming with news single is from DIAMOND.
People are suspecting no Concert DVD this year.
If that happened, you are dead JE... I am not lying...

I will warn you this time only.
I am a very stressed working girl.
My only relaxation is his group and him.
If anyone make their life miserable, YOU feel my wrath to your bones.

Tomo, sore wa anata e no atashi no ai desu...

````No Title''''

I made a new friend yesterday. How?
Nowadays only something connect to Pi can interest me.
So she is someone who know a lot about him.
She is nice. Friendly. Give me a lot of info of Pi.
I don't know her name yet. I'd like to know but it is not important.
It is good to have someone to talk about your love.
'Cause everybody around me don't take my feeling seriously.

Tomo, thank you for letting me know her.
You always bring me luck and joy. Maybe you ARE my lucky star.
ohhh like always, my post trun out talking to him.
Anyway Tomo daisuki...

----if you have to chose++++

Today I saw one breath taking photo... of him
I want to see what he was looking...
I want to know what he was thinking...
I want to feel what he was feeling...


'cause he looks so peaceful and beautiful
I am losing my mind and reasons
Does this call LOVE?
If this is not love, I know I won't be in love all my life...
'cause this is my limit... I can't love anyone like this anymore

Tomo, daisuki...

~Atashi no Yuuki wa Anata da~

On the first of March, Ryo-chan got into car accident.
He is the one caused the accident which injured 60 years old woman in the car in front.
Johnny banned him from driving for 6 months.
How glad I am it was nothing more than that.
And today, someone called me. The same someone who called me on my 24th birthday.
Was I happy? I think I was.
Am I happy? I think I am.
Should I? No, I shouldn't.
Everything should be over now. I shouldn't have any feeling.
I shouldn't feel even sadness.

Ne Tomo, doushite ii no?
Yappari, I want someone to care about me.
Kowai wa. Atashi hitori ja.
Yuuki wo okurete kudasai.