another Hært-brǣk

Yes... another heart-break... but it will heal with his sweet smiles and repeated words
but right now, my heart is in pieces
because of that holding-hands
because of that bright smiles
because of that happy faces

my life was boring lately but...
I would still choose boredom over this anytime, anywhere, any circumstance
how long will it take this old wounded heart to heal this time
I am not scared cuz I know he will make it healed again...
He will make it jumping with excitement again...
As long as he is with me it will heal over and over again...

iroiro na koto arigatou korekara mo yoroshiku

oooYou are the place my life beginsxxx

Looking at his photo, a song came to my mind.
Flying without Wings by Westlife. My fav band from my teens.
I still love them. Love their voice. Love the words in the songs.

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
This song, really touch my heart since the first time I heard.

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
But when I found him, I can relate to the song better than ever.

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry
I really thought I can find it in my solitary life. I did.
Well not a line, just a word of "Konbachiwa" can make me fly now.

You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
I found it in friendship of course. Or more like comrade.
We were not best of friends but we share same heart beat.
He introduced them to me.

So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete
I will definitely fight for my dreams. Biggest dreams of meeting him.
Tell him how he changed my life, a few others' lives on his way of his own life.

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
I won't expect this to fulfill. But I can say how much I love you anytime anywhere.

It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
Yes, he is my special thing. Thinking about him alone can make me soar high.

"And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends"

I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

I feel so far from him. I AM far from him but never in my heart.
Right now, I feel like I am very very far away from him.
Is he feeling down? Last time he had some internal struggle, I feel terrible too.
Is he alright?
You must fight on, Dear. Now is the time testing your strength.
I miss him so much. Time is testing my strength too.
But you are my special thing, I'm not gonna let you go.

Ima made, Kore kara, Itsumademo, zutto hanasanai kara... Soba ni itekurete hoshii

"Say it ain't so, Joe"

Neeeeeee say it ain't so, Joe
He has girlfriend who can join his family and friend only dinner.
I really wish it is not happening.
I pretend as I am reasonable person.
But I am not. I am very sad and shock.
He is 24. He is healthy young man. Besides this is his life.
but all those not helping me at all. I hate reasonable thoughts.
Stay with me till 30, please. Only till 30.
My heart hurt.

Tomo, nande atashi no kokoro wo kirete hito wa anata no...

Special Day <3

Today is very special day for me.
24 years ago, little boy named Tomohisa arrived to the world. I was 6 months and 6 days old.
I never thought this little boy will become my world 20 years later.
Now he became my everything.
His words gives me hope to carry on with my life when I was walking like a blind man.
He gives me strength through his essays and interviews.
A guy younger than me working so hard made me ashamed of myself.
Made me begin to think about my future.
Made me reevaluate my value in society.
And everything little things like getting up early for work is not troublesome, eating alone in cafeteria is not bother me...
I don't know what I can give back to him for all these...
I will always be grateful to Naomi-mama for giving birth to him.
If only he can know my gratitude <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMOHISA
てんじょび　おめでとう

>>>Feelings<<<

I hated to look for a job. I really did. I would rather starve to death than that.
Now I found something I hate more. To look for a job for my dad.
All the things are not in his favor.
And when I see my mom hopeful face when receive one or two email which are not even about the jobs, it is the worst.
I know exactly how she felt.
Feeling hopefully this email is asking for interview. and want to be happy but not sure if it is for interview.
Then I tell her flatly "no, this is just some junk mail" in a tone of how come you are so back-dated with IT things.
I feel like I am the worst. People tend to angry when they surpressed their feelings for so long?
Maybe that's what I am. I don't cry. I don't get angry. I don't get friendly. I don't even have emotion at times.


Tomo, tasukete!

\\\Oyakodon to Kimi no suki na toko///

I had Oyakodon for today lunch. He love Oyakodon so much, so I had to try it.
I say not bad but I won't mention it in every interview if I were him. ^^
There is one song I want to sing to him if he can hear...

"Kimi no suki na toko"

思いが募るほどに 直接顔見ては言えない
omoi ga tsunoru hodo ni chokusetsu kao mite wa ienai
君の好きなところなんて 数えきれないほどあるのに
kimi no suki na tokoro nante kazoekirenai hodo aru noni

いざ目の前にすると 何も言えなくなってしまう
iza me no mae ni suru to nani mo ienaku natte shimau
会えない日に積み重ねた 願いも　迷いも　ため息も
aenai hi ni tsumikasaneta negai mo mayoi mo tameiki mo

ほら　今　この気持ち 君に言ってみたら
hora ima kono kimochi kimi ni itte mitara
困った顔するかな?　その逆ならいいな
komatta kao suru kana? sono gyaku nara ii na

照れた笑顔　すねた横顔　ぐしゃぐしゃ泣き顔
tereta egao suneta yokogao gushagusha nakigao
長いまつげ　耳のかたち　切りすぎた前髪
nagai matsuge mimi no katachi kirisugita maegami

君の好きなとこなら 星の数ほどあるのに
kimi no suki na toko nara hoshi no kazu hodo aru noni
一つも言葉に出来なくて
hitotsu mo kotoba ni dekinakute

恋をすればするほど 駆け引きはうまくはなるけど
koi wo sureba suru hodo kakehiki wa umaku wa naru kedo
この胸のムズがゆさに いつもギリギリ手が届かない
kono mune no muzugayusa ni itsumo girigiri te ga todokanai

困った顔　見たくて　いじわる言ってみる
komatta kao mitakute ijiwaru itte miru
ほんとは　全てが　可愛くてしょうがないくせに
honto wa subete ga kawaikute shou ga nai kuse ni

片方だけできるエクボ　朝のかすれた声
katahou dake dekiru EKUBO asa no kasureta koe
唇の色　髪の匂い　抱きしめた温度
kuchibiru no iro kami no nioi dakishimeta ondo

君の好きなとこなら 誰よりも知ってるのに
kimi no suki na toko nara dareyorimo shitteru noni
なぜ伝えられないのだろう?
naze tsutaerarenai no darou?

お腹が空くと　機嫌が悪くなって黙りこむ
onaga ga suku to kigen ga waruku natte damarikomu
酔うとすぐ寝るくせに　帰りたくないとすねる
you to sugu neru kuse ni kaeritakunai to suneru

君の嫌なところも　そりゃ少しはあるけれど
kimi no iya na tokoro mo sorya sukoshi wa aru keredo
会えばいつも許してしまう
aeba itsumo yurushite shimau

ホッとした顔　笑ったときに八の字になる眉
hottoshita kao waratta tokini hanoji ninaru mayu
皮肉やなのに　意外と人情ものに弱い
hiniku ya na noni igai to ninjou mono ni yowai

君の好きなとこなら
kimi no suki na toko nara
世界中の誰よりも 知ってる僕が嬉しくて
sekaijuu no dare yori mo shitteru bokuga ureshikute

ら今　君が笑うから
hora ima kimi ga warau kara
なぜだろう　言葉に出来なくて
naze darou kotoba ni dekinakute

This feeling in My <3

The friend I got a few weeks a go?
I think she hate me now. Maybe I really shouldn't said what I think about you, P.
When I thought I found who will share my feelings ne...
That's why I don't want any new friends... I hate to pretend. I hate to compromise. I hate to lose someone.
When there is nothing, I lose nothing...
I love your new single...
I am glad I ordered both editions ^^
Ganbatte... Sekai no NEWS made

nee, Tomo... daisuki...