Times are flying by...

When they say time flies, it is only metaphorically.
Time doesn't fly, silly. Time teleport!
It still feels like I met Tomo yesterday. But it already been 4 months and 14 days.
A lot happened between these months.
I went back to my home country after 3 years, passed all my exams and started another semester, doubted Tomo for his sincerity, almost given up on NEWS, lost nice amount of weight.
Of all those thing why did I doubt Tomo????

I knew all along that if I lost my trust in Tomo, my life would be meaningless.
I am not a teenage emo kid who gonna kill herself for an idol.
What I mean is, he said very meaningful things, things you can learn from, things that made you rethink about your life, your action, your goals and your dreams.
If I can't trust him anymore, what will happen to all these I followed.
When someone preaching these values was lying through his teeth, what should I do?
You can say he is just one guy. There are other people who are truthful.
But you don't know Tomo. He practice what he preached. If he truly lied, he was a damn good liar.

I had all those conspiracy theories in my head. Tomo is actually a very cunning guy.
He masked his true self with all those righteous words. When he got tired of all fame he will show his true self.
But after all that trip and photos, I am scared about my theories coming true.
It hurts when the thing you believe in what just a sham. My pride hurts. My brain hurts. My heart hurts.

When you truly love someone, you will forgive their mistakes. Is it really true?
I will continue to love him but I won't forgive.
Yurusanai!!! dakedo aishiteru <3