Thursday, April 4, 2019

If you're happy and you know it~~~

My parents 35th anniversary.
Checking the photos of them together I realized I managed to make their life enjoyable.

My parents provided evrything we need and more when we were young.
Eventhough we were not rich, we always had good food, nice clothes and many toys to play with.

So all I ask for future is the same.
I do not want to be rich.
If my family happy and healthy, if I can give them comfortable life, I am happy.

I am happy right now!!!


しあわせですよ。。。

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I am 28 year old~~~ desu

Thirty is approaching and I am still nothing.
My main problem is I don't want to be something.
I really want a house even though that's more for my mom.
Except from that I just want to graduate with respectable grade.

I read my new year resolutions from Jan. I can't cross out anything yet.

December is coming soon. Now I remember why I never had NY resolutions.
Because I never fulfill them.
Hahaha.... what a loser!!!
I will try to have one cross out after new year.
I really need self control and stronger will power. *sigh*

My other half, Tomohisa had a very busy year.

He had 2 dramas, 2 singles, 1 album, 1 collab-singlle, 1 concert tour, 1 documentary and 1 radio show in a year.
And here I am still calling him my other half shamelessly.
He is more like my other 3/4 because I am not even half of him in every way.


Woahhh I sound so depressed. Must be my stomachache writing.


kinishinaite. daijoubu desu.

Monday, January 2, 2012

It's been so long!!!

10 years ago today, I came to this little island called Singapore.
17 years old, full of dreams, naive and proud young girl :)
It has been 10 years...
fulfilled some of old dreams, found a few new dreams, still a little naive with unchanged Pride, no more young woman ;)

Should I start something new like I did in 2002.
Should I change job? 

Should I move to another country?
10 years in this little island is too long.

I don't regret how I spent those years although I didn't accomplished much.
I made mistakes, big ones and bigger ones but I am what I am now from all the things I went through.
I want to thanks all the people I met in this 10 years.
Some still my best friends, some not in contact, some hate my guts :D

I think I changed most when I got to know him. His philosophy to life made me a clam person that I am now.
Thank you Tomo for the strength and path you show me in my depressing days.


Let's work for better 2012 ne...

Monday, December 12, 2011

Resolution ka!!

New Year is fast approaching.
When I see other people crossing out their last year resolutions, I feel jealous.
I didn't have one for last year or previous years.
I will be 28 coming year and I don't have any goal or dream yet. Am I a loser in life?
So... I will make resolution for 2012.

Very first thing
1) to be able to communicate in Japanese by end of 2012.

2) send my parents on 5 Star Cruise Holiday

3) At least get 1 A in exam

4) get back my ideal weight ie. 52kg

5) take less than 10 days leave

6) go to Japan for concert of a)Tomo b)NEWS c)AAA d)Mr. Children

I hope I can fulfilled at least 4 of those 6.
Jyaaa let's see which I can crossed out in Dec 2012.

Friday, October 7, 2011

7th October 2011

4 days after my birthday...
Toma's birthday...
The day my dream of watching 6-nin NEWS concert was destroyed...

Tomo and Nishikido left NEWS.

Remaining 4 will carry on as NEWS because they don't want NEWS to disappear.
Why Tomo has to be the one who leave? 
I know he has his reasons but still WHY???
I naively thought that I knew him so well. Ha! I didn't know shit...
We will forgive him when he told us his reasons and KYA-ing with starry eyes. *sigh*
I wish 4-nin new NEWS all the best and NEWS fans won't make me scared to check on them.

After all I am traitor's supporter...

Soredemo Daisuki dayo Tomo

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Times are flying by...

When they say time flies, it is only metaphorically.
Time doesn't fly, silly. Time teleport!
It still feels like I met Tomo yesterday. But it already been 4 months and 14 days.
A lot happened between these months.
I went back to my home country after 3 years, passed all my exams and started another semester, doubted Tomo for his sincerity, almost given up on NEWS, lost nice amount of weight.
Of all those thing why did I doubt Tomo????

I knew all along that if I lost my trust in Tomo, my life would be meaningless.
I am not a teenage emo kid who gonna kill herself for an idol.
What I mean is, he said very meaningful things, things you can learn from, things that made you rethink about your life, your action, your goals and your dreams.
If I can't trust him anymore, what will happen to all these I followed.
When someone preaching these values was lying through his teeth, what should I do?
You can say he is just one guy. There are other people who are truthful.
But you don't know Tomo. He practice what he preached. If he truly lied, he was a damn good liar.

I had all those conspiracy theories in my head. Tomo is actually a very cunning guy.
He masked his true self with all those righteous words. When he got tired of all fame he will show his true self.
But after all that trip and photos, I am scared about my theories coming true.
It hurts when the thing you believe in what just a sham. My pride hurts. My brain hurts.
My heart hurts.

When you truly love someone, you will forgive their mistakes. Is it really true?
I will continue to love him but I won't forgive.
Yurusanai!!! dakedo aishiteru <3